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Everyone has a ‘motto’ that they cherish. One phrase that I have cherished for a long time is “Gaiju Naigou（外柔-内剛）”. It is a four-letter phrase made up of two words that have opposite meanings, so some people wonder what it means. Here is an easy-to-understand explanation of what the word Gaiju Naigou means.
■ What does Gaiju Naigou mean?
It’s the term refers to the fact that a person is gentle and soft on the outside, but tough and firm on the inside. There must be people around you who always look cheerful and kind on the outside, but who are strong-minded, stubborn and inflexible to the core. Because they are seen as quiet, people may be surprised when they show their strong temperament. Some people may feel a gap between their appearance and the actual impression of them.
Some people are consciously soft on the outside and tough on the inside for business purposes, while others have an inherent personality that makes them appear soft on the outside but are stubborn and inflexible. If you judge someone only by their appearance, you may find that their personality is actually the complete opposite, so it is better not to judge a book by its cover.
The etymology of the term Gaiju Naigou is based on the idea that
Gai… outside
Ju… soft
Nai… inside
Gou… firm
It is thought to be a word for ‘contrast’, combining these four letters. There is also the opposite, “Naigou Gaiju”. There are also many other four-letter idioms with the image of contrast as well.
■ Advantages and disadvantages of Gaiju Naigou.
This section introduces the advantages and disadvantages of Gaiju Naigou.
Advantages-
They often say that they are easy to talk to because they give the impression of being soft-spoken. If you are Gaiju Naigou, this makes it easy to communicate with people of all ages and easy for them to talk to you. If they actually talk to you and find out that you have a firm will of your own, unlike how you look, they may rely on you as a person they can trust. It is said that people who are well-liked by others are often those who are soft on the outside and firm on the inside. If people are afraid of your appearance, that alone can damage your relationships, which is also an advantage of being Gaiju Naigou.
Disadvantages-
Some people who judge people they talk to by their outward impression may eventually leave the person if they see a strong-willed and strong-minded side of the person. If you don’t know them well, you may get into trouble because they appear soft at first and they come on too strong… You also have to learn how to dodge them well; otherwise, you will feel bad. If someone Really wants to get to know you, they will not leave you even when they get to know you inside out, so be confident in facing them.
■ Points to consider when you use this phrase.
Gaiju Naigou is rather often used when there is a good impression. When you feel a gap, in a good way, it is meant to convey this to the other person by expressing it as Gaiju Naigou.
For example, it can be used when you find it unexpected, such as ‘My first impression of him was that he was soft-spoken, but as we got to know each other, I found out that he is actually both gentle and firm.’ It can also be used to say, “He is Gaiju Naigou person who can be relied on in times of need”. It is used for people who are trusted.
The term Gaiju Naigou must be used by people who know each other to some extent, otherwise people would be uncomfortable and say, “What on earth do you know about my personality?!?” and this can lead to arguments. Only if you have a solid relationship with each other, you should adopt the term Gaiju Naigou as a way of describing the personality of the other person.
■ Conclusion.
Many people may aim to be Gaiju Naigou. It is better to have a softer appearance and be easy to talk to, so that you can naturally get closer to the people around you, even when you first meet them. But on the inside, you should develop a strength that is unaffected by anything and be able to hold on to your own will. It is good if you can imagine the image you want to become through your ‘motto’. You will also be able to see how good it is to be “Gaiju Naigou”.
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